I have given this question a great deal of thought over the years. When I was younger, I would have likely said that I would love a do-over. There is any number of things that I wish I had done differently, or better, or not done at all. I don’t think I am alone in those thoughts. But as I have gotten older, I have changed my view of the magic question quite substantially.
You see, I am happy with many parts of my life right now. I have an amazing wife. I have a wonderful son. I have work that engages my mind and keeps me thinking. Of course there are things that I wish were different, but I think that goes for all of us. The point is, I’m doing pretty okay right now. But I could be doing so much better with a do-over, right? Wrong.
See, the thing about going back and changing something is that it would change everything. I am who I am because of the sum of my experiences. Some experiences have shaped me more than others, but they all play a part in who I am. What’s more, those experiences play a part in who I have in my life right now (namely my wife and son mentioned earlier). If I changed something in the past, then there would be every chance that I would not have my wife and son in my life, and that is not acceptable.
I believe it is part of the human makeup to look back and think about what could have been. But I also believe that holding on to what could have been keeps up from becoming who we are meant to be. There is more power in the latter than in the former. Who we are now is shaped by where we have been, and who we are meant to be is formed from who we are now. Why would anyone really want to mess with that?